How To Successfully Get Back With Your Ex After a Breakup

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4. Talk Through Your Problems

As identified above, you need to understand the reasons why your relationship ended in the first place. The only way you can do this is by talking with each other and putting it all out there, no matter how much pain that causes. If there were things she did that hurt you or had a negative impact on your relationship, let her know. On the flip side, if she has her own concerns, acknowledge these and apologize when necessary. Being able to forgive and forget is a major stepping stone in reconnecting. This especially rings true if your relationship was plagued by infidelity or emotional abuse. These are serious issues that you or your partner may need a long time to get over. For these types of problems, it might be best to talk with a professional to get their view on things.

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“If you get back together, you want the relationship to be different this time around and you want to avoid recreating the same dynamics as before,” relationship therapist Rhonda Milrad told Insider. “So it is important that each of you understands the role that you played in the issue that led to the initial break up, and be willing to work on yourself to change your behavior.”

5. Talk With Family and Friends

If you really don’t know what to do, seek guidance from those closest to you. Your family and friends are the best people to speak to. They know you best and have seen firsthand how you and your ex functioned in a relationship. Some of them might have been through similar situations and can give you their point of view. Even if they don’t have all the answers, it is a good sounding board for you to get your views across and get someone else opinion that isn’t your ex.

But also be prepared to hear some things you might not want to. Your family and friends will be super honest with you and may not agree with what you are saying. If you love and trust them, take the information on board and use it to make an informed decision about your ex and the future of your relationship.