If you’ve recently thought about bringing sex toys into the bedroom, you’re not alone. But knowing how to introduce them into your sex life isn’t exactly something we’re taught in high school. Some partners will be willing to dive right into the world of sex toys headfirst or even say that they can’t believe it took you so long to bring it up, while others will need a little more reassurance to get involved. Either way, we’ve got everything you need to know to make sure the conversation goes as smoothly as possible.

Discuss What You’d Like To Try Beforehand

Whatever you do, don’t just whip out sex toys whilst having sex. This can cause your partner to feel pressured to use them even if they’re not fully comfortable doing so. To get the most pleasure out of using sex toys, you and your partner both need to be up for it.

Discussing which sex toys you’d like to introduce into the bedroom beforehand will allow you to prepare (you might need to shave somewhere you’ve never had to before), get comfortable with the idea, and choose suitable sex toys for you both. If neither of you is into 50 Shades of Grey, there’s no point bringing the type of sex toys Mr. Grey has stored in his red room.

Have a Safe Word

Sex toys can certainly heat things up in the bedroom but without trying them first, it’s hard to tell whether they’ll go down a treat or become something you never want to play with again. Having a safe word will let you clearly communicate that you want to stop what’s currently happening. Try and choose something sexy or an inside joke that you share, so that it doesn’t entirely kill the mood and you can keep going afterward.

Don’t Rely on Sex Toys

Sex toys should enhance the sex you’re currently having, not take over. Remember to have nights where it’s just you and your partner, otherwise, you’ll become reliant on sex toys and lose the connection you worked so hard to build. No sex toy can replace the touch of someone you love, so it’s important that you remind them of this by going sex toy-free every now and then. If you find yourself unable to have sex without sex toys, try seeing a sex therapist to improve your 1-on-1 sex life.