New couples are the first to jump into the bedroom. It’s new, exciting, and you just can’t keep your hands off of each other. Sometimes you won’t even make it to the bedroom. After some time, the desire to rip each other’s clothes off can begin to fade if you don’t work on keeping the spark alive. It doesn’t mean your feelings for each other have necessarily faded, but sex doesn’t always remain a top priority in a relationship, especially long-term relationships. 

Your focus as a couple could now be on saving for a house, meaning you work longer hours, or taking care of a newborn baby that keeps you up all night, leaving sex low down on your list of priorities. Not having sex regularly can cause the fire to burn out, but we speak to the experts to find out how to relight it and spice up your sex life.

1. Add Sex Toys

According to Stacy Rybchin, Founder and CEO of My Secret Luxury, there are many benefits to using sex toys to get the spark back in the bedroom as you experiment with new types of sensation. “Sex toys help you to have more enjoyable sex. They help you spice up your relationship and have a more fun sex life,” she says. They also “help you to have better sex.”

About 75% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm and can not orgasm with penis-in-vagina sex. Sex toys help with this.” There are just some things a penis can’t do, sorry guys. 

If your stamina isn’t what it used to be when you first met when you were sexed-up teenagers, Rybchin recommends introducing sex toys as they don’t get tired (until they run out of batteries of course). But plugging it back in to charge is a hell of a lot easier than building up your stamina. 

2. Add Variety

“Sometimes, doing the same thing over and over can get boring and old. Adding variety in the bedroom changes things up and creates more fun, excitement, and intimacy,” says Rybchin. Doing the same thing again and again can lose its appeal, even when it involves sex. There wouldn’t be so many different sex positions if the standard missionary did the trick! But don’t just think of sex positions.