Or “What is your sexual fantasy? When you ask your partner this question, you might be surprised what the answer is! It could be role-playing or a fetish,” says Rybchin. Role-play is where you and your other half act out a role or persona, using it to act out fantasies or explore taboos. “You can make it as simple or elaborate as you want.

Maybe you start by talking through the fantasy or you gear up with costumes, props, and naughty names.” Fetishes are objects and acts, though not typically sexual, that turn you on or get you off. Depending on the fetish and your desire for it, Rybchin suggests watching porn featuring it, incorporating its props, or acting it out in full.

5. Understand Clitoral Stimulation

“Most men don’t know that about 75% of women cannot achieve orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone without clitoral stimulation if their clitoris is located more than one inch from the vagina,” says Rybchin. The clitoris has around 8000 sensory nerve endings (vs the penis’ 4000), and it’s the one body part whose only function is pleasure. “Couples that stimulate the clitoris before, during, or after sex have better sex lives and overall better relationships because everyone is receiving the pleasure they deserve.”

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6. Get Your Flirt On

Flirting is a huge part of the dating stage, but it plays an even bigger role in keeping the spark alive. When we flirt, we typically use the things we love (or extremely like if you’ve just met) about the other person. Being constantly reminded of what you love the most by flirting with your partner can help to set the fire alight.

In a long-term relationship, sex is so much more than just sexual chemistry, it helps you to express the love you have for each other. So, when the things you love about her are always at the forefront of your brain, you’ll want to convey the love you have for her, and what better way to do it than “making love?”