You’ve really hit it off with a woman you met a few weeks ago and things are going really well, or so you thought anyway. Texts were flying back and forth and the chemistry was undeniable, even over text messages. Before you even realized she had texted you back your phone would go off.

There was never a second thought to whether she’d text you back or not because she always did and made you feel comfortable enough to think she always would. Now all of a sudden you haven’t heard back from her. She normally texts you back immediately and you’re getting worried.

Your phone keeps going off but every time it does it’s still not her. So what do you do? Most of our first reactions involve directly asking them why they haven’t responded – which is pretty much the worst thing you could do.

Even if it’s come from a good place, it comes across as needy and maybe even a little bit controlling (depending on how long it’s been, obviously). The next move you make is vital as it can be the difference between her texting you back and never hearing from her again, so we speak to the experts to give you the best possible chance of getting her to respond (you’re welcome).

Avoid Her Social Media

You’ll be tempted to check her social media to play detective to see what she’s doing instead of responding to you, but don’t. You’ll drive yourself crazy. Knowing what she’s doing won’t make things any easier for you if she still hasn’t responded. “Avoid the person’s social media, which can be a tempting rabbit hole to get lost in,” says Jessica Steinman, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. “Constantly checking on her social media will only make matters worse for you.”

She recommends turning off social media notifications and alerts for her so that you’re not reminded of her before she responds – no one wants to get a notification saying that they’ve posted on Instagram before you get a text message notification. “I would also suggest turning off notifications of her close or mutual friends and family so they do not pop up on your social media accounts,” she says. But it’s important to remember that people use social media in different ways.