There are so few certainties in life; you only need to look out of the window or browse the internet to find that out. Seasons no longer behave how they’re supposed to, people make mad political decisions, the world has gone wonky and upside down.

Yet, as sure as night follows day, one certainty is that, over the course of your life, you will definitely meet some (or all) of these male stereotypes, and they will make up the majority of your friendship circle.

In some cases, they might even be the same person at various different times. And, of course, one of them will be you. But which one?

The Best Friend

Don’t confuse words like ‘loyal’, ‘dependable’ and ‘sturdy’ with ‘vanilla’ or ‘boring’, because this guy is definitely not boring. Sensible – yes. Essentially your conscience in human form – also yes. Far too knowledgeable when it comes to your shortcomings – again, yes.

However, when the tide has turned against you, and life feels like it’s repeatedly body slamming your balls, he’s your rock to cling to. He will mop up your tears. And your sick. And, possibly, at a push, anything worse.

(Related: 10 Life Hacks That Will Make You A Better Man In 2017)

The Meat Head

Every man, at some point, will stand naked in front of a mirror assessing exactly what appears to be happening to his body. The softening around the middle, the increasing threat of moobs. Some shrug it off and accept that they will need to work on their personality to distract everyone from their tits, while others embark on an endless Rocky montage of exercise that culminates in them shooting imaginary fitness magazine covers for Instagram.

(Related: 21 Unwritten Rules All Men Should Obey In The Gym)

The Style Icon

Like being able to roll your tongue into a tube, knowing how to look good is something you’re either genetically predisposed to, or you’re not. Hence why some blokes have an effortless style and always look great, while others put in maximum effort but look like they took a drunken challenge to get dressed at a jumble sale. In the dark.