We’ve all been the rejector or rejectee at some point in our lives, but some of us take being rejected like a trooper whereas others swear they’re never going to ask someone out ever again. The good news is there are ways in which you can learn to be better at dealing with rejection.

The most important thing to remember is that it’s not personal, it’s about your compatibility. It’s not a personal attack on your character, but how well your character complements someone else’s. Think back to the time you had to let someone down gently, it was purely down to you not being suitable for each other. Not because they were the worst person in the world. 

Jessica Alderson, CEO and Co-founder at So Syncd, tells us the ins and outs of dealing with rejection, as well as the positives (believe it or not) that come from it.

1. Accept Your Emotions

“The first step when dealing with rejection is to accept your emotions,” says Alderson. Even though you know it’s not personal, rejection can still hurt, especially if it’s someone you really didn’t want to be rejected by. “Burying your feelings can be a quick short-term fix, but it’s not healthy in the long run. It’s ok to experience sadness, anger, disappointment, or whatever else you might be feeling.” 

Whatever you feel, you’re allowed to. Whether you got shut down for a first date or left by a long-term partner, your feelings are valid and don’t need to be justified by the amount of time you’ve known someone.

Alderson explains that emotions are our body’s way of telling us to take action. There have been numerous studies that show ignoring our emotions can have negative impacts on our physical and mental health. So if you want to take up kickboxing or pig out and indulge in a takeaway (or two) – you have our support. There’s no right or wrong way to heal, just whatever works for you.