We learn all about a potential partner through dating, and once we discover enough things that we like about them, things tend to progress into a relationship. In the dating stage, we are proactively trying to find things out about our date, but it’s not uncommon for curiosity to fade in a long-term relationship because you think you know everything you need to.

But the truth is, we’re always discovering new things about ourselves. We aren’t the same people we were a week ago, so to assume your partner is the exact same person you were dating six months ago is crazy.

Continuously getting to know your partner ensures you’re both still on the same page and can help to strengthen your relationship, as you tap into intellectual intimacy, physical intimacy will be sure to follow. Amber Kelleher, relationship expert and CEO of Kelleher International, shares with us how you can get to know your partner on a deeper level.

Step One: Never Stop Being Curious. Ever

Getting to know your partner on a deeper level requires you to be curious about their life, thoughts, emotions, and so much more. “You may think you know your partner but unless you check in regularly you can’t possibly know what they are thinking,” says Kelleher-Andrews. 

Curiosity is also what keeps us feeling alive and excited about life – and the same goes for our relationships. “Staying curious also helps keep your finger on the pulse of your relationship and allows you to participate in it, as opposed to being a passenger,” explains Kelleher-Andrews. “What does it mean to be curious?” She gives her expert insight into curiosity and partnership in the following steps. 

Step Two: Always Ask Open-Ended Questions

“Curiosity means ‘to have a strong desire to know or learn something about something,’ or in this case about someone,” Kelleher-Andrews explains. “If you are tired of floating on the surface of your budding relationship a good rule of thumb is to go deeper and ask open-ended questions.”