The term Alpha Male is bandied about these days, but few men actually bother to explore what such a designation entails. While there are many advice columns and blogs out there that would have you believe being an Alpha Male involves insulting people, acting overtly macho with a swagger in your step, and a hard look for other guys who cross your path, it’s anything but that.

It’s important to understand that the concept itself stems from Anthropology and something called a prestige hierarchy. This framework describes how human groups organize themselves according to prestige, rather than physical dominance.

Alpha Males, in this context, are those who earn respect through actions of substance, courtesy, and generosity to all people, not always the ones with the loudest voices or the biggest muscles.

It’s crucial to differentiate prestige from dominance. An Alpha Male in modern, western society should most likely steer clear of overt displays of dominance because they carry less social value. Therefore, while James Bond may be a good example for many Alpha Male traits, he scores poorly in two crucial regions for the context in which you must live and work. Excessive use of force, or other domineering behavior, and inherent misogyny also hinder this.

In this men’s guide, we’ll explore some of the most prevalent traits of the Alpha Male, which are often present across cultures. However, for our purposes, we’re dealing with the here and now.

1. Self Respect

This is the concept around which every other trait of the Alpha Male revolves. In today’s culture, self-respect is all too often confused with Ego. This is where the issue with the aforementioned advice columns comes into play. Many times, the image of the macho, muscular jerk, is put forth as what guys should aspire to be.