My first major experience with sibling rivalry was when I started helping in the theater department after school. My older sister was the stage manager there, and after some convincing on her end, I found myself untangling microphone cords, labeling prop pieces, and organizing costumes in the back closet.

I was only a freshman in high school at the time, and of course, I wanted to become my own person and make my mark throughout the next four years. Our common interest in technical theater brought my sister and I together, but I was determined to show the other technicians and actors that I was different from the older counterpart they had come to know and love.

However, I slowly started to notice the remarks that others made about our differences in personality and appearance. 

If people thought she was quiet, then I was loud by default. One of us would be the “cooler one,” the “smarter one,” and even the “prettier one.” It seemed like we were constantly pitted against one another and that there were certain roles we were expected to fulfill.

While the whole notion is frustrating, it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone – studies have shown that siblings everywhere are subject to rivalry and competition. Name someone with a sibling and I’ll show you someone who has dealt with this at some point.

After high school, my sister and I went to two different universities and ended up pursuing vastly different fields. We weren’t around each other often, and as a result, we weren’t subject to everyone’s comparisons. Sure, sometimes running into our friends from high school can bring up those old comparisons, but now I feel more in control of how I react to their comments.

Whether it’s with a sibling or close friend, we all have these frustrations that may put strains on our relationships. It just takes a different way of thinking to realize that they’re not our opponents, but rather, our trusty counterparts.