Oh how we all scoffed at talk of a nineties revival in menswear. Big, flashy branding? No chance. Oversized tailoring? Not on this side of Don Draper. Bumbags? Bumbags, mate?

A few years later, of course, all of these things have come to pass, refreshed by fashion’s spin cycle just like eighties styles (acid wash jeans, pinstripes, pastel colours) were before them. Today, puffer jackets and tracksuits may be the toast of menswear, but just a few years ago, it was unthinkable.

All of which raises the ugly question of what might be around the corner for men’s wardrobes. Do you remember the turn of the 21st century? Do you remember what was trending, who the trendsetters were?

We do, and what we recall is the faux hawk, beads worn without irony, deep-V T-shirts and Justin Timberlake in matching double denim with Britney Spears. Less Y2K, more why 2K, why?

If menswear really is about to get the Millennium bug, these are the trends that could be making a comeback, ranked from the most likely to the please-god-no.

Baggy Trousers

Likelihood: 100%

The skinny fit’s stranglehold on menswear (and, by extension, your genitals) came later in the noughties. At the turn of the century, loose-fit trousers gave a man freedom. Perhaps a bit too much, in fact. Formal or casual, styles billowed shapelessly and puddled around the ankles. No-one seemed to care. This was a time before you could Instagram your sneakers.

But if you think slouchy styles are a thing of the past, then you haven’t been paying attention. Relaxed trousers are already back. Skate styles, generous tailoring and loose-fit denim are calling time on ubiquitous slim fits, with Mark Ronson and designer Patrick Grant two of the most prominent wide receivers.

If you want to follow suit, follow the new rules: stick to tailored silhouettes and straight- (not wide-) leg cuts, with hems finishing at the ankles, not two inches under your heel.