Loss of a loved one isn’t something that we often want to think about, but it is something that we will all encounter during our lives. Last Monday, my dad called to tell me that my maternal grandfather had passed away and I flew home to California this past weekend to attend his funeral. While the ceremony was very emotional, it was comforting to know that my grandfather was well into his 80s and had died peacefully in his sleep. It was also nice to see my extended family, most of whom had flown in from Taiwan and Canada.  

I have attended a few funerals before (though it’s not really the kind of thing where you’d ever want to consider yourself an “expert”) so my cousins asked me a lot of questions about what to expect; I figured it would be good to share some of that advice here as a resource. 

While “what to wear” isn’t foremost in most people’s minds when they’ve just lost someone dear to them, it is useful to know how to dress appropriately — or rather, knowing how to not dress inappropriately — for a funeral or memorial service. That being said, I sincerely hope that none of you will have to use any of this information in the near future! 

Table of Contents

What to Expect

• Figure out what kind of service it will be. Is it a visitation or wake? A funeral service only? Burial service? Memorial service? Depending on the family and cultural norms, as well as how close you were to the deceased, it may be just one or any combination of the aforementioned.  
• If you are attending a service for someone of a different culture or religion, ask ahead to find out if there are certain customs that you are expected to follow or be aware of beforehand. 
• If you are squeamish, it may also be good to ask if it will be an open casket ceremony so you are not taken aback.    

What to Wear/What Not to Wear

• Remember: this isn’t the time to be unconventional or to stand out; the ceremony is about the deceased, not about you. (Of course, if it’s a non-traditional service and you’ve been asked to dress a certain way, you should do that!)

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