So, the woman you’re crushing on has a boyfriend. There are two things that we can do when we’re in this situation: move on or build up the courage to do something about it. But before you make any rash decisions, there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about doing them.

Trying to get over your crush by dating her sister or straight up throwing yourself on her in front of her boyfriend is a no-go. Every Man’s Personal Wing Girl, Marni Kinrys, founder of The Wing Girl Method and creator of the F Formula, tells us the best ways to stop crushing or go for it and make a move – the choice is yours.

How To Stop Crushing so Hard

Look Elsewhere

“My biggest tip when you are crushing on someone who is already taken is to look elsewhere,” she says. “I know it’s tough to re-focus your attention on someone else especially when that girl is ‘just so perfect for you.’ But crushing on someone that already has their own crush can be a huge waste of time, energy, and headspace.” They may not be as perfect for you as you think if they haven’t realized it themselves – a perfect match has to be mutual.

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Befriend Her

Kinrys suggests that instead of pursuing your crush in a romantic manner, try becoming her friend instead. Yes, friend zone yourself. “I say befriend the crush and have her work for you as a wing girl. She’s taken, now let her find someone for you to date,” she says. Let her set you up with her hot friends or her hot friend’s even hotter friend.

And maybe, just “maybe, in the process she may see how freaking awesome you are and start crushing on you.” If not, at least you have a wingwoman on your side that can introduce you to new, more suitable matches. She may even be better than the wingman you’re currently used to since women know what other women want.