Panama

This will be the first World Cup for Panama, but unfortunately they’ll be entering the tournament in a kit that looks like it is covered in Lego bricks. It doesn’t even cover the whole shirt, with a bare patched V-shape circumventing the midriff. The neck saves the day somewhat with a shape similar to a Grandad collar.

Sweden

Sweden has foolishly left its football shirt on the Ikea griddle for too long and the grooves have left unsightly diagonal marks up and down their kit. If you’re going to do stripes just do them, none of this messing around with borderline translucent lines. The colour is also treading a fine day-glo line and making us feel a little queasy for it.

Spain

Oh dear, arguably one of the best teams in the tournament goes in to the World Cup in one of the worst kits. “Call me obsessive compulsive, but I will never be able to come to terms with the fact that the ziggy zaggy folkloric design motif only adorns one side of the body,” says Doonan. “Remember – symmetry, symmetry, symmetry.”

Costa Rica

This kit looks like a child has gone to town with a protractor and compass on your nice new rug. To make matters worse there seems to be faint vertical stripes running up the shirt like an enraged maths teacher reversing over road kill. It’s a nice rounded collar though.

Tunisia

Very similar to the Eygpt kit in the contrasting trim on the sleeves and collar, but white is too plain a colour for you to play it safe and classic. There’s also a strange dotty zig zag down the side panels, which has absolutely no idea what it’s doing or what it wants to be – kind of like us before our Monday morning coffee.

Uruguay

We understand that maximalism is coming back into sport kit design (and back out the other side if you look at the England strip) but the supposed sun on this kit doesn’t even look like the one on the Uruguayan flag, or the one in the sky for that matter. In fashion terms, the V-neck is also out after a brief return last year so we can’t even applaud that. A poor showing from the South Americans.