Valentine’s Day should be easy. After all, the potentially disastrous bit – finding a partner to get all googly-eyed with – is done. Yet, the reality can be as far from cute and cuddly as a season of Narcos. There’s the panic gift buying – as if every man on earth suddenly remembers it’s his mother’s birthday. The overpriced roses that resemble a shrivelled scrotum the instant you leave the shop. Plus the restaurant dinners where the conversation is drier than a well-done steak.

However, there is a new Plan V. A cooler, slicker way to handle the day – starting with these 14 date ideas that are memorable and have just the right level of mush. You’ve got it from here.

1. Take A Cable Car

Valentine’s Day can feel like every town and city is crammed full of couples. Like, seriously, is no one binge-watching Netflix tonight? To escape to your own little pod of outdoor privacy, think vertical. Cable cars and Ferris wheels were made for this very occasion – they bring awesome views, the novelty factor, the fear of dangling perilously in the air. Okay, don’t dwell on that last one. Do pre-book wherever possible, however. Queuing is never an aphrodisiac.

2. Book A Chocolate Masterclass

Chocolate for Valentine’s Day, ground-breaking, right? Well, actually, it is if you think outside the chocolate box and turn the sweet stuff into an experience. For one, a masterclass with a chocolatier is basically a whole evening spent eating dessert together. You’ll smell chocolate, taste it and turn it into miniature truffley works of art. It’s a touchy-feely activity that brings out your creative and your sensual sides. The result? Prepare to adopt the charm of Ferrero Rocher’s ambassador with the sultry appeal of the Milk Tray man. Roll neck optional.

3. Go Star-Gazing

The night sky isn’t just romantic, it also doesn’t get booked up three weeks in advance and is big enough that you won’t bump into anyone else with the same idea. To ace stargazing, you need a spot away from artificial light (but not so remote that your date thinks you’re luring them into the wilderness), cosy layers, the Sky View Lite app to identify what’s above you, plus something stiff (liquor based, please). Of course, every great plan has a nemesis, and in this case it’s clouds. An observatory or planetarium is a strong back-up. Even if visibility is poor, 3D projections bring the planets to you.