This week, we announced the 50 best-dressed men in the world right now: a list of guys with impeccable, nonchalant style that you could copy until the end of your days. But for every well-dressed celebrity out there, we found just as many dud dressers, dad dressers, muscle-fit monstrosities and streetwear sick-ups. Brace yourself. This is how not to do it.

10. The Male Cast Of Love Island

Muscle-fit everything, ripped jeans and shirts that look small enough to fit an underdeveloped 13-year-old. The crimes against menswear on this summer’s hit reality TV awfulness were many and horrific. Come on, Darwin, don’t let us down.

9. Mark Wahlberg

Marky Mark is so muscly he looks fat. This presents the erstwhile model with a sartorial quandary. The fabrics of his muted-tone jean and tee rotation – brown to beige to green and back again – are stretched within an inch of their existence as Wahlberg’s guns try to escape and this leaves him looking like the Hulk with your dad’s haircut. And your dad’s favorite tee. And your dad’s old baggy Levis. He’d probably bang your mum, too.

8. Steve Bannon

Trump isn’t the only aspiring despot grabbing headlines in the States. But where the Presidential Ham usually takes column inches for mothballing healthcare and cutting taxes for the wealthy, Bannon is often in the news for his confused dress sense. Particularly when wearing shirts over shirts over shirts. Maybe peruse our guide to layering, Bannon, you absolute banker.

7. Paul Hollywood

Those big-cuffed, two-colour shirts get the ladies at the assisted-living centre master-baking all night. He’s sexual chocolate, a perfectly risen love fondant with a gooey middle and exacting pastry standards that explode your nan’s ovaries at the climax of every GBBO. The trouble with arousing the elderly, of course, is that increased heart rates can prove fatal. In that sense, Hollywood is more of a ladykiller than Edmund Kemper.