Don’t Drink Too Much

It seems like basic common sense, but it’s all-too-easy to glug down alcohol when you’re feeling nervous. Before you know it, you’re half-cut, inhibitions lost (not in a good way), and dangerously loose-tongued. You can get away with a pint at best, or one glass of complimentary champagne (it’s free after all), but that’s your lot.

“Alcohol can actually dry out your mouth, stick to water while giving your speech,” says Kye. “While a few glasses of scotch might feel like they’re settling your nerves they could actually make you feel a bit too confident. Save the drinking until after your speech, then you’ll truly have earned it.”

Have A Killer Opening Line

No pressure, but you need something funny to open the speech – something to let guests know you’ve got the charisma and gags to hold their attention. We asked three comedians appearing at the Edinburgh Festival for some speech opening one-liners that would knock ‘em (not literally) dead.

Ben Pope

“I’m the Best Man. At the wedding. But also generally.”

“A good marriage is like an over-80s tennis match: endless love.”

@BenWPope

Robin Clyfan

“I love weddings, you spend years planning the day, and pour thousands of pounds into getting your mates wasted.”

“Love is rare and special unless you’re [the groom] in which case it’s something you give away in a toilet after half a shandy and a packet of crisps.”

@RClyfan

Joey Page

“[The groom] said I have done such a good job as best man that I can definitely do it again at his next wedding.”

@TheJoeyPage

Stand-up comic Chris Washington offers some general tips too. “Always start by complimenting the bride to get the away fans on board (but don’t go overboard, so it looks like you wish she was marrying you instead). Don’t go in too hard early doors. Take out any ‘you had to be there’ stories, because you probably had to be there. And finally, no matter how good of an idea you think it might be, a PowerPoint presentation containing pictures from the stag do will never, ever be a good idea.”