Let’s face it: You’ve got about two months left to get a number one hit, or at least get onto page four of NME magazine, to wangle a VIP Glastonbury ticket. And considering how long that guitar’s been in the garage for, you’ve got more chance of sneaking in pretending to be Ed Sheeran’s older brother. So if you fancy the VIP experience, but don’t have the musical ability or a network of industry pals, we’ve sorted the best top tier tickets that you can actually get your hands on this summer.

Coachella, California

Best For: Celeb spotting

Even the slum sections of Coachella look more like the set of a Hollister shoot than the usual post-apocalyptic festival wasteland. With a private block next to the main stage full of exclusive bars, fancy bathrooms and a secret garden that’s home to picnic benches and sun-drenched couches, you’ll never be more than five feet away from a model, whichever weekend you choose. Headliners: Lady Gaga, Radiohead, Kendrick Lamar Coachella.com – 14 & 23 April, VIP passes sold out but available on resale from £720

Primavera Sound, Barcelona

Best For: Serious Music Lovers

Primavera Sound may be lauded as having the best line-up of any festival in the world this year, but it’s what goes on after hours that takes it up a notch. Perfect for getting closer to the action, a VIP pass gains access to ‘Club Shows’, Primavera’s super-exclusive secret shows where headliners perform in intimate settings without the riff-raff. With half-price beers and cocktails, extensive seating areas and of course, the prerequisite luxurious bathrooms, it’s a recipe for la dulce vita. Headliners: Arcade Fire, Bon Iver, Frank Ocean PrimaveraSound.es – 31 May, VIP passes sold out but available on resale from £260

Lovebox, London

Best For: Hipster Hedonism

This year, the capital’s coolest festival has partnered with hipster magazine i-D for a Miami Beach-themed VIP extravaganza. Describing itself as Ocean Drive-meets-Frank Ocean, palm trees, cocktails and neon lights promise to bring some Florida fun to East London. On-site club The South Beach Shaker will host an additional line-up especially for premium ticket holders and a 1980s and ’90s soundtrack will keep everything on-brand. Better yet, there’s no camping, so you can even go home to your own bed afterwards. Headliners: Frank Ocean, Jamie XX, Solange Loveboxfestival.com – 14 July, VIP passes available in April, price TBC