I’m twenty-six years old, and my follicles are following the fate of my father’s: they’re packing up, my hair falling out. What was once a thick head of lustrous hair that I thought I’d never lose is now on the wane, masked by regular visits to the barber for an expertly faded skinhead. It’s annoying, but it’s life. For some people, however, baldness is a major source of depression.

New research released by Asda Pharmacy proves the extent to which impacts men’s self esteem. In the UK alone, more than a quarter of those under 35 say hair loss has made them more prone to drinking or recreational drug use. More than a third of respondents admit that hair loss is one of their biggest worries while almost 38 per cent said it makes them feel depressed.

(Related: going bald)

All of which may sound pretty extreme. However, a lack of hair up-top can be a major blow to any man’s confidence, and those with an Aslan mane just won’t get it. You check your scalp constantly, photos become a huge source of anxiety, you don’t want to be seen from behind in fear of being labelled “the bald one”. I even asked my partner if I was still considered attractive – turned out, thankfully, that I was, but I didn’t particularly feel it.

Popular culture doesn’t help. Jeremy Piven, Matthew McConnaughey and John Travolta are but three celebrities suspected to have taken surgical measures to restore their hair, fighting what nature intended and reinforcing the idea that you need a full head to get ahead. In the famous Simpsons episode where Homer finds a miracle hair growth formula, his hair grows back and he’s suddenly seen as virile and successful.

Baldness is still a marker of ageing (no matter how old you are when it starts). It’s a cultural roadsign and when you drive past it, the message is this: sorry mate, your halcyon days are well and truly over.