From budgie smugglers to ill-fitting board shorts, every summer sees a number of heinous style crimes committed on our seashores. It seems as though once the warm weather truly arrives, good sartorial sense somehow finds itself perilously lost at sea, with alarmingly tight, gaudily printed or impractically baggy swim shorts broken out on beaches and at poolsides the world over.

But does it really matter? They’re for swimming in, right? Why would you spend valuable holiday prep time thinking about something that – for the vast majority of the time you’re wearing them – probably won’t even be visible? Because not only are you doing yourself a major disservice in a hot pink and sky blue striped speedo, you’re also disturbing the peace.

So – if you’ve yet to zip up your suitcase – read on for tips on how to swim, and lounge, stylishly this season.

Fit

First up, you’ll need to decide whether you’re the tailored type or prefer shorts that have a little more room for maneuvering.

If you lean towards the former, tailored swim shorts are best. Usually cut slim and crafted from polyamide, these lend your beachside look a little Riviera chic, bearing a clear resemblance to chino shorts.

“Always go for something well-fitted,” says Adam Brown, founder of Orlebar Brown – otherwise known as the label that almost single-handedly popularised short, fitted swimwear styles for men.

“Something too loose or too tight is not flattering. You should also consider your height: the taller you are, the longer you can go, while shorter styles flatter well-built thighs.”

The ideal in this case is a pair that fits similar to chino shorts, but doesn’t strain to the point of outlining your package – and which aren’t cut so short as to suggest you might be on your way to audition for a Village People tribute band. That means just above the knee at the longest and mid-thigh at the shortest.