If you just started a new relationship, congratulations! You’re probably love-drunk, happy for no reason, and convinced that you’ve found the greatest person in the whole universe. The magical time of new love is called the “honeymoon phase.” 

Everything is perfect, and with good reason. Research shows that in this phase your brain is flooded with dopamine and the stress-suppressing hormone cortisol. You literally can’t help but be happy.

But this phase doesn’t last forever.

One day you’ll wake up and realize your partner isn’t perfect. You will start picking fights over stupid things and you will find some of their traits more annoying than charming.

At that point, without a powerful cocktail of hormones clouding your judgement, you can finally decide whether you and your partner are compatible for the long haul.

Some couples end after this phase. They start to see red flags and realize that a long-term relationship is not what they wanted after all.

But for other couples, the end of the honeymoon phase is just the start of their relationship. If you don’t want the post-honeymoon slump to end your relationship prematurely, here are a few tips for making your relationship last past the honeymoon phase. (All of these were compiled from a combination of personal experience and a variety of sources, including Psychology Today, Scientific American, and The Huffington Post.)

Table of Contents

1. Determine What YOU Want

Once the honeymoon period wears off, this is when you start to really see the person in front of you. It’s both a good and frightening thing when you’ve seen them as the pinnacle of perfection for the past few months.

Now you get to judge which of your partners’ quirks you can live with and which will drive you crazy. Some of these things will just take a little getting used to — you might find you can tolerate more little quirks than you thought, and your partner may agree to tolerate some of your less-attractive qualities as well. It’s all about thinking clearly about what’s negotiable and what’s not when it comes to spending time with another person.