Are you even a dude if you haven’t wondered (or still wondering) at some point in your life about whether size really matters? Men are brought up to believe size is important from as early as high school, comparing the size of their manhood before gym class or from watching porn.

But just like film directors cast the perfect actors for the role that we can fantasize over, porn showcases perfect penises. So if you don’t see your lookalike on the big screen, you’re not alone. 

Is the Bigger the Better Actually True?

We can assure you it’s not true, so you can take a deep breath and relax now. “This is a myth that many men believe,” says Dr. Nazanin Moali, Sex and Relationship Expert at Oasis2Care, Founder and Host of Sexology Podcast. “Unfortunately, we live in a society that perpetuates this myth by marketing all sorts of ineffective and dangerous penis enlargement products.” Own what you have and don’t buy into it.

In fact, “a lot of women prefer an average size penis and actually don’t want a large penis,” explains Sarrah Rose, Sex Therapist and Founder of Tantric Activation. She says it’s more important for a man to know how to use what he has, no matter what size he is. Different positions work better for different sizes, so she recommends trying out different positions to know what works best for you. Also, every woman has a different shape and size of vagina, so there’s a perfect fit out there for everyone – like sexual soulmates. 

Think of it in terms of averages. “Most women’s vaginas are average-sized, as are most men’s penises,” says Susan Bratton, Sex Expert and International Best-Selling Author. “Which means they fit well together.” For the average American, a penis of 5-6” fully erect is more than enough length. If you’re curious, Bratton has a foolproof way of finding out your manhood measurements. She says to measure from the abdomen down the top of the fully erect penis to the tip to get an accurate length.