Dating can be tough at the best of times, especially in a world full of dating apps, hook-up culture, and slang terms like ‘ghosting’ and ‘benching.’ But when you throw kids into the equation, it gets just that little bit harder. Kids present a whole new piece in the dating puzzle and can be hard to adjust to, especially when you have none yourself.

For many single men, dating someone with children is a big no, and that’s totally fair. You might not be ready for the responsibilities that come along with being in a relationship with kids. Or maybe you just don’t want any yourself, which makes sense why you wouldn’t be keen on dating someone that has kiddies. Both of these reasons are understandable, but if you are open to the idea of dating someone with kids you have to be prepared for a bit of a lifestyle change.

Your date or new partner will always put their kids ahead of you, so make sure your ego can handle being number two on her list of favorite people. You will also have to work around her schedule and realize spontaneous catchups will be few and far between. There is a multitude of other things you’ll have to deal with along the way, including the sudden cancelation of plans and meeting the ex. And let’s not forget the first time you come face to face with the kids.

Unless you have a fling, dating someone with kids is a serious commitment. If someone is willing to let you into their life and meet their children, you have a responsibility to take the relationship seriously. She is showing you how much she loves you by opening up that part of her life to you, so you have to be just as forthright and give it your all. While it is certainly hard work, dating someone with kids is also an extremely rewarding experience.

Whether you are ready to be a step-dad or are pondering if you can manage a relationship that comes with kids, that’s up to you to decide. But to help make your decisions a little easier, here are 12 tips when it comes to dating someone with kids.