Can Men and Women Just Be Friends? How To Make a Platonic Friendship Work
Ah, the age-old question that has plagued human social conduct for as long as we can remember: can heterosexual men and women really be just friends? Or will there always be that unavoidable sexual attraction that just can’t work for a platonic relationship?
This debate has sparked dinner conversations and car ride banter throughout the world, even showing up in popular media and once again making us question, can men and women really be just friends? “What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way,” argues actor Billy Crystal with actress Meg Ryan in their famous car ride in When Harry Met Sally.
While some stay firm in their belief that men and women can never be just friends, others are equally as convinced that it’s possible to have a platonic friendship with the opposite sex. So, what’s the truth? Well, it’s time to hear what the experts have to say.
With research on this topic beginning as early as 2000, several researchers have done some digging to see if platonic friendships are something the modern human is capable of having. According to one 2012 study, researchers suggest that our issue with the “just friends” debate comes from our modern, evolved mating strategies in which sexual or romantic attraction among opposite-sex friends is much more common than it once was.
The study also suggested that men were more likely to be attracted to their female friends than vice versa. However, women were typically unaware of how their male friends were really feeling, mainly because the level of attraction wasn’t mutual. Sound similar to the Harry vs. Sally debate much? Yet, according to a recent survey by the Survey Center on American Life, about 75% of single men and 65% of single women report having a friend of the opposite sex. Of course, those numbers dwindle for married Americans, with only 54% of married men and 43% of married women saying they have a close friend of the opposite sex.
