You’ve got to know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em, Kenny Rogers once said. While we’re pretty sure he was talking about gambling, the advice also applies to relationships.

Breaking up sucks, but even worse is wasting time in a just-as-sucky relationship. Knowing when to cash in the chips is the field of relationship expert Dr Pepper Schwartz, who has identified the 10 signs to look out for.

May Cause Irritation

Everyone brings their good and bad sides to a relationship, but when those bad sides are all you can see, you’re heading into iffy territory. “Ask yourself why they’re getting on your nerves all of a sudden,” says Schwartz.

“If the reason is that you’re fixating on smaller things instead of a bigger problem between you, or because they’re stubbornly refusing to make an effort anymore, it may not be a slump. It may well be the beginning of the end.”

Hide & Seek

Living together means you have to see each other, a lot. Before that stage, you can at least find excuses to avoid doing so, but taking that option doesn’t bode well.

“It’s probably not a coincidence that you always feel like cancelling on them, so heed the warning sign before you’re both in something longer term than maybe it should be.”

Sex On Tap

A dead sex life is no good, but if the only thing keeping you together (literally and metaphorically) is bedroom fun, then that’s equally as bad.

“If the purpose of this relationship – on both sides – is purely physical, then that’s fine. But if you’re prioritising physical attractiveness over an actual connection, chances are as time goes on this will fade and you’ll be left with nothing in common.”

Love Drought

Bumping uglies is a major part of most relationships. However, if it’s been a while since you last did the deed, consider the reasons. Do your sex drives not match up or are you just not attracted to them in that way?